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Woman with a hand on her forehead with caregiver guilt

5 Ways to Cope With Caregiver Guilt

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What is Caregiver Guilt?

Caregiving for a loved one or elderly parents can be one of the most rewarding but stressful things in life. Caregiver guilt can come about when caregivers see their loved ones suffer, and at times, a caregiver may feel like they are not doing enough.

When a caregiver is overwhelmed with giving support and help to a loved one, caregiver guilt adds even more stress to an already stressful situation.

For instance, a caretaker may not be in the position to provide all the care that a loved one needs. They may need specialized care or 24-hour care. A caregiver may decide that a long-term care facility is best. However, the loved one that needs care may disagree and make it very difficult for the family caregiver.

In addition to having to place a family member in a care facility, caregiver guilt can come about when a carer feels like they lost valuable time with their loved one when they were healthy. Adult children are often busy with daily activities, and all of a sudden, life can pass by quickly.

Along with caring for daily activities, caregivers may also be battling health issues that take them away from caring for grandparents or other loved ones. Neglecting their loved ones at the expense of their health can also add to caregiver guilt.

Emotionally a caregiver can be burned out from caring for someone. Coping skills will help a caregiver continue to care for aging family members and not neglect taking care of yourself.

Coping with Caregiver Guilt

caregiver guilt Road sign saying "self-care"

1.  Recognize Feelings of Guilt

Acknowledging and understanding feelings of guilt can go a long way to helping a carer cope with such feelings. Talking with a trusted friend can help express those feelings and get to the bottom of why they feel guilty. Often, the caregiver may find those feelings are out of their control.

After identifying the problem, you can find a solution or find you are not alone with how you feel. Having a sound support system or even a support program can help you with the burden of caring.

2.  Caregiver Self-Care

When someone is a primary caregiver, it could be easy to neglect their well-being. Poor sleep, eating habits, and a lack of exercise can become the norm. Therefore, caregivers must take some time out for themselves to rest and de-stress.

Here are tips for handling some of the common challenges for caregivers:

  • Take time for yourself and your own needs. Watch for signs of stress, such as impatience, loss of appetite, or difficulty with sleep, concentration, or memory. Pay attention to changes in your mood, a loss of interest in usual activities, or an inability to accomplish usual tasks.
  • Eat a well-balanced diet. Drink plenty of water every day.
  • Exercise by taking short walks daily or at least three times a week.
  • Listen to guided relaxation recordings or relaxing music.
  • Schedule short rest periods between activities. Make it a priority to get a good night’s sleep.
  • Set limits for what you can do.
  • Don’t overload your daily to-do list. Be realistic.
  • Find a few hours several times a week for activities that you find meaningful and enjoyable.

3.  Get Support

Caregiver’s support can come in many ways. Family members can pitch in and help a caregiver from time to time. Peer support can help. Connecting with other caregivers who share the same circumstances will allow caretakers to vent their feelings and know they are not alone.

4.  Take a Break

Taking a break and stepping away from caregiving will allow a caregiver to become refreshed mentally and avoid exhaustion. In addition, finding respite care services can give caregivers a break. Respite care can relieve caregivers so they can enjoy activities of their choosing.

Other support services may include hiring a private-duty caregiver to come in and care for a loved one at home.

5.  Remember Why You’re Caring For a Loved One

Three women hugging

The role of a caregiver can be described as an act of deep compassion and love. Taking care of grandparents or elderly parents is an act of self-sacrificing love. When times become difficult, reflect on why you are providing care. Remember all the time and love your loved one has shown to you.

When you provide care with love, not only will the care recipient feel it, but they will appreciate it in most cases. For example, suppose a caretaker cares for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or Dementia. In that case, they may not always tell a caregiver how much they appreciate the care they have received. Nevertheless, a carer will have a good conscience knowing they are doing what they can to provide care to a loved one.

For more information on how to receive help and support to cope with caregiver guilt and burnout, contact Alliance Medical & Home Care today!

Alliance Medical & Home Care has been providing affordable home care since 2007. We pride ourselves in being one of the best home care companies in Lexington, KY, and surrounding areas.

Senior Care Planning by an elderly couple sitting at a desk

The Ultimate Guide to Senior Care Planning

Why Senior Care Planning is Important?

 A guide to senior care planning can help relieve some of the stress of assisting elderly parents or family members with care decisions for the future. Most would agree that anytime we can plan for a significant event or change in circumstance, all involved desire the best possible outcome for our loved ones.

Often, planning for the care of a loved one is done in the very moment of the one needing care. However, at this emotional and stressful time, a family caregiver can be in a situation where an important decision about a loved one is decided quickly. Additionally, planning before a loved one has a chronic illness, Dementia, or Alzheimer’s disease, will help a caregiver make good decisions in the future.

Caregivers who are in the position of making decisions in duress, often without being thoroughly informed or under stress, is why it is critical to create a senior care plan in place for you or a loved one!

Senior care advice can be helpful when trying to put all the pieces together in deciding what type of care may be needed in the future. With various options of senior care available, choosing the right one may take a little forethought.

Planning for the future does not mean that the one planning for care is losing control. The exact opposite is true. Actually, the fact that planning for the future is happening now, means that you are in complete control.

Making decisions now while you are mentally and physically able to do so will ensure that your end-of-life decisions are handled the way you would like them to be.

Planning for Senior Care

Senior care planning woman's hand writing on a notebook

1.  Plan the Type of Care Assistance 

When deciding the type of care for loved ones, several options are available depending on the type of care needed. Making these decisions ahead of time can cut down on caregiver stress.

It may be challenging to know what kind of care will be needed if you plan for the future without having any immediate health concerns. Nevertheless, becoming knowledgeable about the type of senior care available will assist you in deciding on care for the future. Let us briefly discuss a few choices of care for older adults.

  • Long-term Care Facility
    Long-term care may be an option if a loved one has a progressive illness, is wandering off, has dementia, mobility issues, or if a caregiver lives out of state.
  • In-Home Care
    Home care services can assist a senior with activities of daily living such as bathing, running errands, meal preparation, and companionship. Care at home is excellent for seniors who are independent and have support from family members.
  • Adult Daycare
    With the stress, care providers can have adult daycare centers help to give caregivers a break.  Moreover, it provides a chance for seniors to get together with their peers, experience companionship, and improve the quality of life.
  • Assisted Living
    A person is independent in an assisted living facility with the opportunity to associate and enjoy activities with other seniors.
  • Respite Care
    Caregiving can become a burden if a caretaker does not take time off and take care of themselves. Respite Care Services assist in relief for family members who provide regular care.

FYI: There may be local agencies that can assist with additional caregiver resources or point you to community-based services. Alliance Medical & Home Care is a Lexington, Kentucky, area agency that would be happy to assist with any in-home care services for loved ones.

2. Financial Planning

When thinking about all of the different options for senior care, you may think, how can I afford it? Everyone’s circumstances will be different when it comes to covering care costs. Additionally, many families use a combination of Medicare, Medicaid, care insurance, and personal savings to cover the costs.

A good financial plan—both for an elder and yourself—should include:

  • A monthly budget with income and expenses
  • A budget for large capital expenses over a three-to-five-year period
  • A review of health insurance plan(s) for what is covered and what is not
  • An overview of all assets and debts
  • Choosing someone to handle finances and decision-making

3. Legal Planning

One of the most uncomfortable conversations is the ones about end-of-life decisions. However, some affairs need to be put in place to give all family members peace of mind. A loved one should have a durable healthcare power of attorney and a durable financial power of attorney along with a living will.

Finding Caregiver Support When Times Are Hard

A Woman supporting an elderly man

Coping with caring for the elderly can be enjoyable when a family caregiver has support. Emotional support from other family members can also keep a caregiver from experiencing caregiver burnout and knowing that they are not alone.

Would You Like More Information on Senior Care Options?

Finding the proper care can be a challenge. Check out the links below to find out more information on senior care!

● How to Choose In-Home Care VS. Assisted Living Facilities
● 4 Signs It Is Time To Hire A Private-Duty Caregiver

Alzheimer's care related text

The Best Approach to Alzheimer’s Care for Every Caregiver

What is Alzheimer’s Disease?

Alzheimer’s Disease is a progressive disease that can slowly destroy a person thinking ability and memory. This article will discuss the best approach to Alzheimer’s care and the difference between Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease.

The National Institute on Aging defines Alzheimer’s as:

An irreversible, progressive brain disorder that slowly destroys memory thinking skills, and eventually, the ability to carry out the simplest tasks. In most people with the disease—those with the late-onset type—symptoms first appear in their mid-60s. Early-onset Alzheimer’s occurs between a person’s 30s and mid-60s and is very rare. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia among older adults.”

The most common sign of Alzheimer’s is difficulty remembering new information. Difficulty remembering is usually the first sign because Alzheimer’s affects the part of the brain that has to do with learning. After this, symptoms start to worsen. What about Dementia? What is it?

Dementia is not a disease like Alzheimer’s. Dementia simply refers to the loss of memory and ability to make decisions that most people can make in everyday life. Some symptoms of Dementia could include trouble with problem-solving and difficulty communicating.

Symptoms of Alzheimer’s Patients

Elderly man and caring nurse

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be difficult for numerous reasons. As the disease progresses in a loved one, those changes can make caregiving very difficult. Some middle stage symptoms of Alzheimer’s may include:

  • Obsessive or impulsive behavior
  • Hallucinations
  • Paranoia
  • Mood swings and depression
  • Getting lost

Later stage symptoms some Alzheimer’s patients experience:

  • Weight loss
  • Difficulty eating
  • Incontinence
  • Slow loss of speech

Caring for a Loved One With Alzheimer’s

Daughter comforting mother about Alzheimer's care

With all the challenges that caregiving brings, if a caregiver remembers why they provide support and care, they will find the best approach to caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. Put simply in one word is love. Love can motivate a caregiver to continue when it becomes problematic. Additionally, love will help a carer be compassionate and patient with a loved one as they battle this terrible disease.

Showing love is the best approach to Alzheimer’s care.

Alzheimer’s Caregivers Take One Day at a Time

Woman relaxing on the sofa

Watching a loved one progressively worsen on top of a caregiver, managing their own emotions like grief and loss can cause a caregiver much stress and emotional pain.

During this time, a carer must give themselves some self-care. A caregiver should set aside time each day, if possible for some quiet time, even if it means only getting 15 minutes to de-stress.

To avoid caregiver burnout, engage in regular exercise. Going for a walk is not only an excellent way to get extra steps for the day, but it can be a stress reliever. Caregivers should engage in activities that they love. Maybe start a new hobby or finish a long-time project. The most important thing is that a caregiver takes time for themselves.

If a caregiver feels that he or she does not have any time for self-care, it may be good to consider asking for help. Asking for help does not mean a caregiver is abandoning their responsibilities towards a loved one. Moreover, a caregiver does not need to feel guilty if they feel overwhelmed and need to reach out for help.

Where Can Caregivers Find Support?

A nurse holding a card that says Alzheimer’s Disease for Alzheimer's care

Alzheimer’s elder care is very challenging. Finding local resources for help and assistance may not be as hard as you think. Depending on the Alzheimer’s stage will determine the type of care a loved one needs.

In the early stage of Alzheimer’s, hiring a private duty caregiver to help with daily living or companionship to your loved one may be what they need. However, in the mid and late stages of Alzheimer’s Disease, a carer may find that more skilled help is needed.

Alliance Medical & Home Care offers training to our caregivers for early to mid-stage and mid to late-stage Alzheimer’s, and we would love to help!

For more information on how a private duty caregiver can help, read our blog post “4 Signs, It Is Time to Hire A Private Duty Caregiver.”

Elderly woman wearing a mask depression in seniors

Depression in Seniors, a Growing Concern

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How COVID-19 Impacted Seniors During 2020

The first part of 2020 brought about a lockdown that brought much pain to many people. Many were now isolated from family and friends, without jobs, stuck at home dealing with a sudden change by themselves. Depression in Seniors was even more concerning.

Some seniors living in nursing homes or assisted living facilities being physically distant from their families, struggled. As days and months went by, many of our loved ones in healthcare facilities had to deal with the emotional pain of being distanced from their loved ones.

The absence of a hug or a touch on the hand will never be taken for granted after 2020. Nevertheless, if being physically distanced from a loved one was not enough, seniors had to deal with anxiety about being infected with COVID-19.

With seniors being at a high risk of being infected, and as care facilities continued to have outbreaks, seniors had to deal with the thought of how their body would react if they were infected with the Coronavirus. All of these factors could have impacted the emotional and mental stability of elderly ones.

Depression in Seniors Vs. Feelings of Sadness

Rainy days, losing a loved one, and being isolated from friends and family are some factors that can cause a senior to feel sad or down at times. However, one in four (24%) adults ages 65 and older reported anxiety or depression in August 2020, a rate which has been relatively constant since the pandemic started in March.

The difference between feelings of sadness and depression usually is that sadness is not the only symptom. In addition, a person who has depression also needs additional support and help.

Seniors who are alone during the day may feel isolated. The isolation may be the reason a loved one is feeling sadness. In this case, a senior may benefit from companionship during the day.

Having someone, they can talk with and share in other activities can help increase a senior’s mood. However, if a senior is depressed, how can they overcome and receive help for depression?

Chart with the difference between depression and sadness

When to Seek Help For Depression

Loved ones can be on alert for any signs of depression. A senior should seek help when some of the signs mentioned above become overwhelming—another factor to consider if the depression is affecting a senior physically.

Talking with a healthcare professional would be the best thing for a senior who feels more than just sad. Be prepared to have an open discussion. A doctor can ask questions like, When have these feelings started? Do depression and mental illness run in the family? How severe are the symptoms?

Activities For Depressed Seniors

Different Activities that seniors can enjoy

There are many rewarding activities for seniors to help them overcome depression. To help with feelings of isolation, seniors can create opportunities with others.

  • Host a card party
  • Join different clubs at local facilities
  • Volunteer
  • Invite a friend to hair and nail appointments
  • Learn a new hobby

If a senior is more of a homebody, learning a new language, sewing, and quilting are great options. Getting enough exercise is essential as well. Walking with a friend, gardening, and water aerobics are great ways for seniors to stay active.

Depression is a growing concern not only for seniors but for all ages. If a family member is battling depression, seek the help that is needed.

For seniors who need more assistance or who are considering moving into an assisted living facility, click here to read the blog post “How to Choose In-Home Care vs. Assisted Living Facilities.

Woman Standing in Window with her head down and one hand holding her head

An Epidemic of Stress In The U.S.

Caregivers Stress Increased in 2020

Think back to the beginning of 2020, when the epidemic of stress began and the pandemic started to hit home. Dealing with the sudden changes resulting from COVID-19, many began to face caregiver stress.

When businesses and schools closed, many people had to make significant changes and adjust in a short period. Some were laid off from work and isolated from family and friends.

Parents were faced with the challenge of how to continue to educate their children at home and work. Some parents also had to figure out how to balance their time by being a family caregiver for a senior.

Even though caregiving is gratifying, it can also be very stressful. Especially on top of the stress the pandemic brought about. Caregiver burnout has long been a challenge for caregivers, but now they faced a whole new set of stress and challenges brought on during a pandemic.

The saying “family comes first” is taken seriously by many people. So, when a family member needs help and assistance, most are eager to help and provide support and be there for their loved ones.

The Challenges of Caregiving

Caregiver with her arm on older woman's shoulder

  1.  Time Management

    When it comes to loved ones who need extra support, it can take long hours each week to ensure a loved one has what they need. The extra time spent can cause a caregiver to feel isolated, drained, and overwhelmed.
    Juggling different responsibilities such as raising children, working, and taking care of a household can leave little time for a caregiver to spend alone time for themselves.

  2.  Health and Well-Being

    With little time left for caring for a loved one, caregivers may lack caring for their own mental and emotional health. Some caregivers are consistently tired and are in desperate need of a day off. Caregiver self-care is essential. If a carer’s well-being is ignored, it could lead to another family member taking care of the caregiver.

    FYI: If a caregiver feels like they need extra help, contact Alliance Medical and Home Care and discuss how Alliance can provide care in a loved ones’ home!

  3.  Financial Stress

    Managing another household can at times mean helping out financially. Carers may have to assist in purchasing prescriptions, providing transportation to doctors’ appointments, or hiring extra help for housekeeping or other household duties.
    Any of these challenges can increase stress. So, how can a caregiver carry out their responsibility and find ways to manage their stress? .

Caregiving Tips to Manage Stress and Emotional Pain

Woman sitting outside amongst trees and rocks watching the sun rise

Whether we are a caregiver or not, everyone should work hard to manage stress and emotional pain, especially after 2020.

There are a few signs of stress to look for:

  1.  Constantly anxious or overwhelmed
  2.  Sleeping too much or not enough
  3.  Weight gain or loss
  4.  No longer interested in the activities previously enjoyed
  5.  Easily irritated or angry

If you notice some of these signs in yourself, one way to reduce stress is by asking for help! Ask other family members to help share the load or hire a Private Duty Caregiver.

In-home respite can provide one-on-one care for a loved one and lighten the load of a family caregiver. Respite care could also mean allowing loved ones to spend some time at an adult daycare center or another local program available for seniors.

Do a little research to find caregiving resources in your city or town. These can be a big help to helping you find the proper assistance for the loved one and caregiver.

Stretching Ahead to the Future

Mountains in the horizon

Even though caregivers may feel overwhelmed and stressed, keeping a positive attitude will help caregivers be thankful for the time spent with their loved ones and to care for and support them.

Accepting help and looking for ways to reduce stress will help a caregiver maintain a bright future outlook. A future when they can spend time with their loved one without the heavy burden of solely providing all the care a loved one needs.

Would You Like More Information?

For more information or to discuss different care options for a loved one, click the links below.

A caregiver enjoying a walk with their loved one in a wheelchair.

How to Choose In-Home Care vs. Assisted Living Facilities

Choosing Care is a Hard Decision

When the time comes to choose the type of care for loved ones, it can be emotionally draining and stressful. 

Choosing between in-home care or assisted living communities depends on the needs of the one(s) who needs care and how much time and attention you can give to your loved one. 

Spending time researching long-term care facilities can be difficult and time-consuming if a loved one is not ready to leave behind their home. Taking their feelings into account shows love for them and consideration for how they feel and what they have to give up. 

Over the years, there have been many fond memories made in their home, and moving to an assisted living facility can make them feel as if they are giving up their independence. Moving to an assisted living facility can be a hard adjustment. 

Considering the needs and limitations of the caregiver is also essential when deciding how much help a caretaker can give. 

Caretaking can feel like a burden depending on the amount of assistance a loved one needs, and if there are other family matters to juggle, such as work and raising children, this can make it even harder. 

Thinking about all of this is what makes deciding on a loved one’s care so incredibly hard.

Aging at Home vs Assisted Living

How to Choose In-Home Care vs. Assisted Living Facilities

In-home care provides an opportunity for assisted care for your loved one at their home. There are many advantages of hiring a private duty caregiver. 

Since they will be at home, they may feel more relaxed and comfortable. A caregiver can come in and take care of necessary tasks that your loved one is unable to handle.

At Alliance Medical & Home Care, we offer a wide range of in-home care services.

In-home Care Services 

  • Personal Care – assistance with bathing, dressing, and grooming
  • Mobility – assistance with walking, getting in and out of bed/wheelchair.
  • Homemaking – assistance with light meal preparation, dusting, vacuuming, personal laundry, and grocery shopping
  • Toileting – assistance with bathroom, bedside commode, urinal, or bedpan
  • Incontinence – assistance in changing undergarments, pads, and related skincare
  • Transportation – Alliance caregivers can transport a patient to the doctor or therapy appointments
  • Medication Reminders – reminding seniors to take medications
  • Respite – assist in relief for other family members who provide regular care
  • Companionship

A private duty caregiver may be just the care a loved one needs!

If a loved one needs more assistance than a caretaker can handle, then an assisted living home may be a better option. 

An assisted living facility is a great choice even though there will be some changes involved for them. They will continue to have their own space and feel like they have a measure of independence.

At the same time, they are receiving the ongoing care they need.

With our loved ones living at an assisted living facility, this will give you more quality time with them and peace of mind. Staff members at these facilities will give loved ones the care and help they need.

What Matters the Most When Choosing Care

How to Choose In-Home Care vs. Assisted Living Facilities

The time spent finding the proper care for a loved one can be an emotional time. Remember, one of the most important things is coming to a beneficial decision for the whole family.

It may be hard to convince a loved one that they need more care than their family can give. Be patient, even discussing the situation repeatedly with them if they have Alzheimer’s or dementia. 

Sometimes, there can be a measure of guilt when discussing with parent(s) or other loved ones’ care services that they need, but you cannot provide due to your limitations or theirs. 

If you would like to discuss how hiring a caregiver can not only give you peace of mind but more quality time with your loved one, please reach out to Alliance Medical & Home Care.

We can explain the  cost of choosing care in the home and any other questions you may have. For more information on hiring a caregiver, read our blog post “4 Signs It’s Time To Hire a Private Duty Caregiver”.

Caregiver helping elderly patient

4 Signs It’s Time to Hire A Private Duty Caregiver

Experiencing Caregiver Burnout?

4 Signs It’s Time to Hire A Private Duty Caregiver

Caring for the daily necessities of a loved one can be significant evidence of love and devotion to loved ones, especially so if you are a primary caregiver for aging parents. However, caregiver burnout is a real thing, and it may be a sign that it is time to hire additional help. A private duty caregiver may be just what you need!

Notice what AARP  says regarding how caregiver burnout affects people:

“Thirty-six percent of family caregivers characterize their situation as highly stressful, according to the “Caregiving in the U.S. 2020” report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC).”

It may be good from time to time to assess your circumstances to see if you are stretching yourself too thin and need to hire a private duty caretaker.

Have you ever heard of compassion fatigue?

Wikipedia describes it as “a condition characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel compassion for others, often described as the negative cost of caring. It is sometimes referred to as secondary traumatic stress.”

Considering your loved ones’ needs and limitations will also help you determine when in-home care may be needed.

When it’s Time to Hire a Caregiver

4 Signs It’s Time to Hire A Private Duty Caregiver

1. Caring for a Loved One Is a Full-Time Job

If you are raising a family, working full-time, and providing senior care for a loved one, chances are something is going to suffer.

Now, of course, it depends on how much time and attention your loved one needs, but if much care is needed, you may be juggling too much. Often it is the tasks of daily living your loved ones cannot handle that can be a trigger that more help is needed.

If your loved one needs assistance with dressing and grooming, medication reminders, or mobility, it may be good to ask for a helping hand in having someone provide home care services for you.

Often, family and friends are more than happy to help out, but you may also want to consider respite care.

FYI: Respite care assists primary caregivers so they can take a break. Assistance can be given in the loved ones’ home, an assisted living facility or nursing facility.

4 Signs It’s Time to Hire A Private Duty Caregiver

2. Potential Hazards in the Home

Be observant of how your loved one moves around their home. Do they drag their feet or lose their balance at times? If you notice these small things, it could be a risk of them falling.

If there are stairs in the home, this may also be a concern, and having someone there to lend a hand will help prevent your loved one from falling.

3. Your Loved One Needs Specialized Care 

Sometimes the assistance that our loved one needs is just far more than what we can give them, and we want our loved one to have the best quality of life.  Certain medical conditions such as Alzheimer’s and (Dementia) care can be very hard on a caregiver.

Alliance Medical & Homecare does extensive training to teach our caregivers how to work with seniors’ mid-stage and mid-late stage Alzheimer’s. 

4. A Need for Social Interaction 

Is your loved one lonely? Do you notice any signs of depression? These are questions you want to consider to determine whether it would be beneficial to have someone there just for companionship.

Where to Find a Private Duty Caregiver

4 Signs It’s Time to Hire A Private Duty Caregiver

Alliance Caregivers are thoroughly screened, bonded, insured, and covered by Worker’s Compensation insurance. We offer a wide range of in-home care duties customized for each individual client.

The caregiver services we assist with are:

  • Personal Care
  • Mobility
  • Meal preparation
  • Toileting
  • Incontinence
  • Transportation
  • Medication Reminders
  • Respite
  • Companion care

Contact us today to arrange a meeting in your home with our Representative to discuss and evaluate your needs so we can find the right private duty caregiver for you!